Put down the remote & get off your couch this week. Why? To go see the longest awaited cartoon to ever hit the big screen. The Simpsons movie is finally here.

You’ll be glad you made the trip and did something mind-numblingly funny. (You would have just wasted your time flipping through re-runs of CSI anyway.)

Here’s a great list of the best used cars from The Simpsons, thanks to The Mags Report . If you think of others, let me know.
The Family Car

Homer, Homer Simpson
He’s the greatest guy in history
From the, town of Springfield
He’s about to hit a chestnut tree

The Simpsons family-mobile has taken quite a few lumps over the years- being dumped into a lake, falling through ice, or even having Homer use a pickaxe to put speed holes in it. Through it all, it’s taken a licking and kept on ticking. And the paint has been splendid since day one. Where is Marge’s car? It’s a station wagon. That should be explanation enough.
DeLorean- Troy McClure“Hi there, I’m a DeLorean. You might remember me from such roles as Time Travelling Device in Back To The Future I, II and III, and as the 20 Years Out Of Style Sports Car Owned By Troy McClure in The Simpsons.”Was there ever a more perfect choice for a vehicle for Troy McClure than the DeLorean? Just a brilliant piece of ‘casting’. Mr. Plow- Homer SimpsonCall Mr. Plow, that’s my name
The name again, is Mr. Plow

The creme de la creme of snow removal services in Springfield. Able to clear driveways and streets of snow effortlessly, with a jingle that can’t be beat…

The Plow King- Barney Gumble

Until Barney shows up with The Plow King. Apparently Mr. Plow isn’t immune to gunshots to the tires, and the Plow King has the services of Linda Ronstadt.

Canyonero

Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down,
It’s the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero!
[Krusty:] Hey Hey

The Federal Highway comission has ruled the
Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.

Canyonero!

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide,
65 tons of American Pride!

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

She blinds everybody with her super high beams,
She’s a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!

Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)

Drive Canyonero!

Woah Canyonero!

Woah!

Rolls Royce (various)- Mr. Burns

Would you expect anything else for the richest man in Springfield? Notable for the one time when Mr. Burns attempted to drive on his own-

I thought, uh, I thought I’d chauffeur myself this evening. yes, that’s what I thought. How difficult could it be? I’m sure the manual will indicate which level is the velocitator and which the decleratrix, hmm?

Mercedes SL- Baron von Wortzenberger

Ja, ja, ja, mach schnell mit der art things, huh? I must get back to Dancecentrum in Stuttgart in time to see Kraftwerk. Hey, und dummkopf! Watch out for the CD changer in my trunk eh? Idiot.

Another inspired car choice.
The Bus- Otto Mann

The jump off point for a ton of episodes, and the scene of many a great comedic moment, including the infamous apple/banana race. Just watch out for those pesky gremlins.

Hail to the bus driver man indeed.

The Tractor- Groundskeeper Willie

Well duh. How else would he groundskeep?

The Homer

A perfect example of why the focus group isn’t always right. What did Homer want for his car? Separated children pods, a little ball on the aerial, tail fins, a big motor, huge cupholders, shag carpeting, a Rolls grille, and a horn that played the Cucaracha. The tagline? Powerful like a gorilla, yet soft and yielding like a Nerf ball…it’s amazing that it didn’t sell like hotcakes. Oh yeah, the sticker was $82,000. On the plus side, the failure led to the bankruptcy of Herb Powell, which ultimately led to him coming back to Homer for money help and a reappearance of the drinking bird in a later episode. So it was all worth it.

Any I’ve missed?
…Thanks to the Simpsons Archive for the quotes.

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Imagine crusing down an enourmous hill, three inches off the ground at 35MPH in a car you built…and being only 13 years old.

Calm. Cool. Collected.

Just a normal day at the office for Alex Hoagey, an 8th grader from Webster, NY. He’s been tearing up the courses for over three years now.

In fact, this year marked the third year Alex qualified, and raced, in the All-American Soap Box Derby Championship, held last week in Akron, OH. He made it there with his recent victory in the Stock West category of the regional qualifiers.

“To go three times is such a great honor.” Said Alex.

Not just an honor - an impressive feat reaching the highest level of competition in your sport…three times in a row.

Congrats - keep driving fast and keep having fun!

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Part 5 of Car Dealer Confessions…By Tug Pullman.

I’ve given you an honest look at the inner-workings of a car dealership and may have painted a slanted picture of the people in the industry. Do they deserve a bad rap? Definitely up for debate. So, I thought in this week’s installment I’d (try to) explain the pressure new & used car salespeople are under. This may remove (a bit) of the culpability for some in the automotive retail industry, but I can’t, in good conscience, defend all of them. Some are just plain old crooks who revel in their ability to deceive car shoppers.

The new & used car salesperson’s’ main pressure point: Financial. After one disappointing month (financially speaking) the General Manager wrote on my pay stub “Work your pay plan!” This was my instruction to work towards the sales and bonuses which paid the best. (Everyone in a dealership has a compensation plan based on commission and bonuses.)

As a rule of thumb, a Salesperson receives 25% of the sales profit, with a bonus for the total sales in a month. “Working my pay plan” means selling cars with the highest profit margins. New car profit margins are limited by law and the market, so the highest profit margins are usually found on used cars and truck. This is why you find the rally cry of “switch them to used” in most new car dealerships.

The shrewd salespeople of the bunch know exactly which used vehicles have the highest margins. These used cars suddenly become the vehicles of choice for their customers. Funny how that works.

In addition to the 25% commission, the dealership gives special bonuses on certain vehicles. Bonuses are paid on the oldest vehicles on the lot. (Aged Vehicles) Dealerships have a “floor plan” - a loan for each vehicle on the lot. They pay interest on each vehicle, so the longer is stays, the more it costs. I’ve seen bonuses as high as $1000 on these older used cars.

If you feel the Salesperson is steering you away from a vehicle you like, this is probably why. For new vehicles, this pressure usually comes from the manufacturer. They constantly throw contests and incentives at the dealerships, and individuals, to increase sales.

This takes me to the industry-favorite: the “Spiff”. No, this isn’t the sharp dressed guy on the floor. The spiff is an extra cash payout if the bonus is hit for a specific time period. Just about every car dealership has a daily spiff on Saturdays. They’ll have a morning “rah-rah” pep rally, and entice the Salespeople with a big wad of cash for even more motivation. Spiffs can be volume based (three sales today earn you $250) or activity based ($10 for every customer you introduce to your manager). I’ve even seen people paid to get their customers to climb into the trunk of a car. (I’ve mentioned this before)

If you want to see what I’m talking about, check out the classic car sales movie Suckers. The writers didn’t make this stuff up…

The bottom line for these new & used car salespeople: If they don’t sell enough cars, or even the right cars, they won’t have a job for long. Where I worked, if you didn’t have enough sales at the half-way point of the month, your days off were cancelled. Twelve hour days, seven days a week is a strong motivator to sell cars at any cost! Unfortunately, when Salespeople are under this kind of pressure, the consumer pays the price.

Add all of this up and you’ll have a plenty of reasons not to shop at commission-based car dealerships. The best interest of the customer doesn’t line up with the best interest of the Salesperson; it’s no wonder most people would rather have a root canal than buy a new car.

Do yourself a favor and shop for your next car at a one-price dealer. Do your homework to ensure it’s a good price. (Unless you live in a cave, you’re probably already familiar with the links within our Friendly Resources.) There’s no reason you can’t get a Salesperson who actually cares about your needs.

Going up against highly motivated and trained professional negotiators, intent upon convincing you which vehicle is right and talking you into paying the highest possible price, is probably not at the top of your list of fun things to do on a Saturday with your family.

Good luck out there, buying a used car doesn’t have to be so tough…

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If you’ve ever seen the rings on my fingers - then you know they’re one of Brian Bergeron’s Tire Rings. (Old fraternity bro’ of mine.)

If you haven’t seen them yet…then head over to TireRing.com and buy one - or several.

I’ve got a motorcycle ring & a car tire ring; people always comment & ask where they can get one.

Now you know what to get for that special someone who just picked out their latest ride.

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Strong, powerful and American.

Between the beautiful new design, the head-rattling stereo and the 300 horses under the hood - you’ve got enough pulse-quickening distractions to make someone with ADD lose their mind.

The interior is big and purposeful. You can tell before the key turns something fun is about to happen. Once the engine rumbles up, you’ll need to turn up the Shaker stereo even louder - and it’ll go a lot louder too. (Two options available - 500 & 1000-watts)

The control cluster is friendly, seating is spacious and the overall quality of the interior is impressive. Very solid - with none of the creaks and rattles reminiscent of past Mustangs. Good size for the backseat and the trunk as well.

Gripping the short throw shifter and running it up to 6th gear is a blast - feeling your backside get sucked into the wide-flung leather seats is even better. You’ll look forward to getting stuck at the next red light just so you can hammer it again.

The only little gripe is the size and placement of the parking brake; I wonder if they just forgot about it and stuck it there as an afterthought.

Maybe that’s why you have the ability to adjust the dashboard background hues; choosing from 1000 shades of color definitely distracts you long enough to forget about the parking brake handle. (And keeps the ADD driver occupied long enough while parked)

An out of the wrapper Ford Mustang Premium GT, like our Kool Whip of the Week, starts at $26,875 (without add-ons)

Save some coin with our Buy It Now price of $22,148.

Enjoy!

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Part 4 of Car Dealer Confessions…By Tug Pullman. 

Most new car dealerships have a very similar infrastructure. The Salesperson greets the customers, shows them the vehicles, takes them for a test drive and begins the paperwork. When the time comes to discuss price and payments, the Salesperson must go to the Desk Manager. 

The Desk Manager’s sole function is to get as much as possible for the vehicle. Many times it appears as though the Customer and salesperson are combining forces to get a good deal out of the Desk Manager. This is by design; classic “Good cop, Bad cop” rouse.

Unfortunately, for newer Salespeople who don’t know any better, the Desk Manager deceives the Salesperson into thinking it’s the best deal he’s willing to give the customer. They do this to ensure the Salesperson is convincing enough when pitching the deal to the Customer. They call this tactic “loading the Salesperson’s lips.”

To get a price and payment quote from the Desk Manager, at this new car franchise, you needed three things: A properly filled out buyers order with the customer’s information, a written commitment of what the customer will do today, and a deposit.

They teach this from day one in the training. These three things give the saleperson total control over the customer. If the customer says they are not buying today, you still get a written commitment.

As the trainer said, “Any customer will buy today for some price. If it’s a dollar down and a dollar per month, at least that’s a starting point.” The car dealership is just trying to take you out of shopping-mode and into negotiating-mode.

The problem arose for me when a customer saw one of our many “zero-down” commercials. Every one of our ads promised “zero-down.” This customer obviously didn’t want to put any money down - he repeated it several times. I was presented with a conundrum; I had to go to the Desk Manager with a commitment and deposit in order to get a price quote for my customer. How do I ask for a deposit when the customer clearly wants to put zero down as advertised?

I didn’t believe it to be very customer friendly to ask for a cash deposit just to get a price quote. So, I jotted down the customer’s commitment “Customer will take delivery today for zero down and $379 per month”. I trotted back to the Desk Manager with the paperwork and laid it down in front of him.

“Where’s your deposit, Head?” The Desk Manager called everybody Head; this was not a reference to my particular anatomy. “He wants to do the deal on TV, no money down”, I replied. “Still need a deposit to work a deal”, he said gruffly. So I returned to the customer. We had a fairly positive relationship up to his point, but me asking for a cash deposit to get a price quote didn’t go over well. Besides, he didn’t have any cash on him.

I returned to the “tower” (the raised platform in the showroom where the Desk Managers sit). “He doesn’t have any cash, and just wants a payment quote with no money down”. The Desk Manager looked at me for a second, and immediately paged my Manager.

Once my Manager arrived, he said, “This weak sister can’t get me a deposit, will you take a turn and show him how it’s done?” He was half-joking, but obviously trying to make a point.

The floor Manager’s role is what they call, in the car business, a “closer”. They go to the customer to get the deal done. They are trained negotiators and practice this skill constantly. What happened next was one of the most shocking things I witnessed in my short tenure.

The closer came out of the office with my customer’s watch. He actually took his watch as a deposit!

 When I asked how he did that, he casually replied he always gets something. Cell phones, wedding rings, even shoes! He entered the tower like a conquering hero as he presented the watch and revised commitment.

They looked at me and said “Now that’s how it’s done, Head!”

I thought to myself…Not in my world it isn’t.

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Super rare exotics? Classic collectors? Nope.

On average, most of us (60% according to a Harris online poll) think the stereotypical CEO drives a luxury car. In fact, most people associate a CEO with a black Mercedes.

I’m sure you’ve heard a story about the Bransons, Ellisons and Cubans of the world casually writing checks for a custom Koenigsegg or some other car that most people can’t pronounce.

Well - they don’t count. There are a ton of other CEO’s who still live life somewhat closer to reality.

And, those CEO’s are driving more Chevy’s than Mercedes; most people in the study also thought CEO’s spent more than 70k on their rides. Wrong again.

Average price that CEO’s paid? UNDER 25k. And 26% of the CEO’s claimed they paid less than 20k for their primary vehicle.

A very interesting fact that came out of the study - The CEO’s responding to the survey ALSO thought their fellow CEO’s were driving cars in the upper-end of the price spectrum.

Here’s the CEO’s responses to what they own:

• 29%: Passenger cars
• 24%: SUV’s
• 19%: Luxury cars
• 13%: Pickup trucks
• 9%: Vans & Minivans
• 6%: Sports cars

Check out the stylin’ CEO rides at our New York used car and Atlanta used car superstores.

Who knows? It may even help you up that corporate ladder.

Oh yea, that’s a Koenigsegg up top - you’ve got a better shot of seeing Elvis in your neighborhood than one of these …

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Cars & Tunes - What a great combo. 

Everyone loves their driving tunes; CD’s, MP3’s, Satellite radio stations - even mix tapes. (Or as my son says - a mix what?)

Here’s a cool “must-have” list of driving related songs - in random order.  All types…If you can think of others - let me know.

• The Distance - Cake
• Race Car Ya-Ya’s - Cake
• Stickshifts & Safetybelts - Cake
• Title & Registration - Death Cab for Cutie
• Brand New Cadillac - The Clash
• Cars - Gary Numan
• Jesus Built My Hotrod - Prodigy
• (I Can’t) Drive 55 - Sammy Haggar
• Racing in the Street - Bruce Springsteen
• Pink Cadillac - Bruce Springsteen
• Low Rider - War
• Tailights Fade - Buffalo Tom
• Drive My Car - The Beatles
• Little Red corvette - Prince
• Trans Am - Skeleton
• No Particular Place to Go - Chuck Berry
• Riding in my Car - NRBQ
• Stop The Car - Jonathan Richman
• Blinded By The Lights - Manfred Man w/Springsteen
• Paradise by the Dashboard Lights - Meatloaf
• Roadrunner - Modern Lovers
• Wreck on the highway - Bruce Springsteen
• Fast Car - Tracy Chapman
• Car Car - Peter, Paul & Mary
• In My Car - Geggy Tah
• Little GTO - Ronnie & The Daytonas
• Four Wheel Drive - Bachman Turner Overdrive
• Taxi - Harry Chapin
• Highway Star - Deep Purple
• Born To Be Wild - Steppenwolf
• Radar Love - Golden Earing
• Speed King - Deep Purple
• Smokin’ - Boston
• Strutter - Kiss
• Life in the Fast Line - Eagles
• La Grange - ZZ Top
• Silver Thunderbird - Marc Cohn
• Rocket 88 - Delta Colts
• Chevy Van - Sammy Johns
• Freeway of Love - Aretha Franklin
• Hot Rod Lincoln - Commander Cody
• American Pie - Don McLean
• One Piece At A Time - Johnny Cash
• Lost Highway - Hank Williams
• Route 66 - Chuck Berry
• Route 66 - Depeche Mode
• Little Duece Coupe - Beach Boys
• Mustang Sally - John Lee Hooker
• Highway to Hell - AC/DC
• On The Road Again - Willie Nelson
• Maybellene - Chuck Berry
• Dead Man’s Curve - Jan & Dean
• 6 Days on the Road - Dave Dudley
• Crossroads - Cream
• Car Wash - Rose Royce
• Little Honda - The Hondells
• Goin’ Up Around The Bend - Credence ClearWater Revival
• Keep on Truckin’ - Eddie Kendricks
• Care Free Highway Gordon Lightfoot
• Barracuda - Heart
• Crusin’ - Smoky Robinson
• Drive - Cars
• Drivin my life Away - Eddie Rabbit
• Big Pimpin’ - Jay-Z
• Ridin’ Dirty - Chamillionaire
• Still Tippin’- Shwishahouse
• Act A Fool - Ludacris
• Crosstown Traffic - Jimi Hendrix
• Slow Ride - Foghat (My personal Fav)

Have the tunes, just need the best used car to play them in…?

[And if Apple feels compelled to send me an iPhone to test these songs out - I wouldn’t mind at all]

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Pure exhilaration.

Unless you’ve been stranded on a fishing boat for the past year or so, then you already know this American Revolution inside and out.

A 6.0 liter, 364 cubic-inch, 6-Speed manual transmission pumping out 400 horsepower is the prize under the hood. And, it delivers an impressive 18mph city & 28 highway. (Not bad for one of the fastest production vehicles on the road today.)

Once inside, you’ll suddenly realize you have nothing else to do other than -

• Drive it where a lot of people can see you
• Drive it fast
• Drive it for a long time (The seating is tops in comfort)

The competition may come close to the beauty, power and thrills - yet parking the 6th generation ‘Vette in your driveway won’t crush your wallet.

MSRP on this particular model is just shy of 49k; Auction Direct USA’s discounted Buy It Now auction price is only $45,700 (stk #MTP1337)

Check out this Kool Whip of the Week…it’s in Atlanta & won’t be around for long.

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